Happy New Year (Volume 2016)!
I love holidays. I love to have an excuse to dress up in ridiculous outfits. I love to dress up and go to themed parties. And NYE used to be one of my all time favorites. I would spend hours looking for the perfect silver, white, and gold (or all three of the above) outfit and deciding which party would be the perfect one to attend, or making certain I hit all four parties I was invited to because I didn’t want to miss a damn thing. From white parties, to bar parties, to house parties, to hotel parties, to live bands, living room dance parties, NYE day drinking, fireworks, you name it, I’d tried it all.
This year, well this year was a little different. Partially because I’m still reeling from being newly single. But also because I was living in crisis mode due to being a caretaker over the holidays for a family member. I still went out, and I still drank too much, despite my best intentions. I had plans for a productive and healthy NYE and NY Day that included knocking something off my bucket list, and possibly taking the Polar Bear Plunge again (whereby one goes to the beach on a 20 degree or less Fahrenheit day and takes a nice swim, which supposedly cleanses you free of all of your old habits and bullshit. Or gives you cardiac arrest, whichever comes first).
So NY Day was spent lost in my old habits and bullshit, with a massive hangover. Jennifer Lawrence summed it up perfectly here when she said:
“I’ve never had a good one. Everyone’s chasing a good time and it’s always a disappointment. I plan on doing nothing and then if something lands in my lap…” she continued. “But I always end up drunk and disappointed.”
But enough about that. I started this blog declaring 2015 the year of doing all of those things I always say I’m going to do but never do, and I think that theme will have to continue into 2015 (because many of those things I’m still saying I’m going to do…..and haven’t yet). But I will add a new theme; one of which I am leaning towards is titled “Find your fucking-self already, damn it”. I’m a huge proponent of setting goals and resolutions. Not as successful at actually achieving them, but it’s the thought that counts.
I used to buy a new journal every year, and make the first entry of the year my resolutions. Now it takes me at least a few weeks into the new year before I sit down to write them. I’ve gotten smart though, and learned to just cut, copy and paste from last year’s resolutions because let’s face it, not too many fall off the list. Though in reality, many of them should stay on the list year after year, such as exercise, eat right, save money, make out with Robert Downey Jr., find yourself……
I am a huge work in process though, especially after freeing myself in 2015 from aforementioned relationship. I am learning, and growing, and stumbling and failing. I realize there is a lot to let go of, and continue to let go of, before I can really start fully moving forward in life again. I think Jen Sincero’s post “Happy Heave-Ho“, about letting go before you create that list, is a great way to start.
But before I do any of that, I want to brag about my 2015 successes. They didn’t occur every month like I had wanted to them, but they occurred, on their own time, in their own way, which is a more important feat for control freak planners like me. In no certain order:
- Took the Polar Plunge on NY Day after saying I would for at least 19 years and never doing it (I did this alone).
- Competing in the American Birkebeiner Ski Race, and beating my goal time of 3 hours. I had NEVER ever competed in any sort of organized athletic event (well since high school anyway). (Also did this alone).
- Taking a real Spring Break with my sister’s family
- Learning how to mountain bike. For real. In Sedona. (Thanks to my college roommate who tried to kill us during the lesson).
- Bought a new tent.And camped in it!
- Finally taking that trip across Lake Michigan on the ferry, and taking a real solo extended vacation (alone. Solo means alone.)
- Ending that relationship that just wasn’t working (this was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, and I somberly add this to the list. It’s hard to believe I have not blogged about it. Yet.)
- Buying a real pair of Old Gringo ass-kicking cowgirl boots. In Austin. From a hot sales cowboy(man).
- Finally making it back to Devil’s Lake to hike to the top (alone, because my nephew bagged out on me the morning of our hike).
- Learning how to use a miter saw and air nail gun
- Finally hanging up my Xmas lights I bought in Mexico
- Renovating my upper duplex kitchen
- Many other things I’m sure I forgot about
Did you recognize the pattern of how many things I did alone? I’ve never been one to shy away too much from doing things on my own. In fact, I quite like the solitude. But learning to be alone in those difficult times, well that’s going to have to be a resolution for 2016 for certain. As well as “write more blog posts”.
Here’s to a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2016!